Not a typical day at the office for me today as I’m sitting on an airplane returning home from Dallas and the funeral of my dear brother in law. Saying goodbye to a loved one is never easy but it’s especially difficult when it comes as a surprise to everyone. To say that our family is hurt and saddened by this loss is only part of what I’m feeling right now.
Wow, .. what a heavy blog topic for a music company right? What does this have anything to do with my job and what we’re trying to accomplish at our label? And to that I have to answer, … everything!
I can’t count the days I wonder about my purpose, … about what I’m truly meant to do on this Earth, … what my real value is, … what more there could be for me? There are so many days I admittedly come to the office feeling underwhelmed, overextended, overstimulated and even unfulfilled. But it’s days like this when loved ones are left behind grieving, that I’m reminded again how quickly our lives can come to an end. All that we strive for and hope to attain, … the next phase of life we hope to reach, .. the name we try to make for ourselves, in and of themselves all really mean nothing.
I say, ‘in and of themselves’ because apart from a greater purpose all these things we strive for are just temporary milestones, … we can’t take any of it with us. Once your time is up, your financial stature, your accolades, titles and positions all of a sudden don’t have much value, do they? So the question again is, … what I’m I here for? What more is there for me? What I learned about my brother in law today at the funeral and what I feel challenged by to apply towards my own life is what kind of hope does my life bring other people, (outside of what I do for a living?) Am I ultimately portraying an image of God, being light to a dark world? Am I living out a life of obedience in sharing the Gospel? Am I selfish or selfless? Does how I act represent what I believe? Am I a ‘talker’ or a ‘doer’? These are the questions I want to be asking of myself. These are the questions I want to wrestle with and ultimately what I want my life to reflect.
It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes a tragedy to open our eyes to the bigger picture. And as heartbroken as I am by the loss of my brother in law, I’m thankful for the renewed vision I have for how I can be used by God on this planet. Yes I still have dreams and aspirations. Yes I have desires and vision of what more I’m capable of doing, but they’re all wrapped in a purpose bigger than just me. I guess it’d be safe to say that I want ‘who I am’ to speak louder than ‘what I do’.
So, for me and my job here at Centricity, … I’m honored to work with artists who’s songs reflect the desire of my heart. I don’t take it lightly that my job is to oversee the recording process of the songs that we hope change many lives. I see it more clearly now that these songs represent seeds of hope that can be planted in the hearts of so many generations. While artists careers will come and go, ‘singles positions on the charts’ will go up and down, sales of records will rise and fall, … the songs will live on forever. These songs are the artists legacy, … what they leave behind. I can only hope that my life leaves traces of hope that reach generations and are reflections of Gods work in my heart. Afterall, … this is what people remember. This is what people talk about once we’re gone right?
Death is a heavy thing. Thank God for hope beyond this life, for grace and salvation and Heaven. Without it I don’t know how I could grieve. Already we’re seeing beautiful things coming out of a life that ended too soon. If nothing more, one heart in particular has been changed forever.
What legacy can you leave behind? What impact can you have on other peoples lives? What kind of hope can you help people find?